Hello Kindred Spirit!

We parked our van for the night in a level, quiet open field surrounded by blackberries and tall evergreen trees that felt private and safe.

This night marked a transition point from a fun-filled Pacific Northwest summer with family, extended family, and lots of grandkid time. We relished the blackberry picking, rock climbing, biking, camping, and hiking with our grown kids, alongside running hugs, book reading, brilliant smiles, periodic meltdowns, and plenty of “Uppy” requests—both verbal and not—from the little ones.  

A happy sigh escaped.

Into Silence

We were heading to an 8-day residential silent retreat, called Return to Intimacy, in Oregon hosted by our beloved Center for Sacred Sciences on our way back home to Vegas.  The retreat, I knew, would be focused on the underlying truth that there is no separation anywhere—an intimacy so radical it leaves no distance for a “self” to stand apart from experience.  

But, in this moment, as I snuggled up close to my husband (Jay, aka Rudra) I felt restless, a tiny bit angsty. Superimposed on my happy reflection of our summer and my intrigue for the silent retreat on “intimacy” to come, I was mulling over the wildfires that had wreaked havoc in the PNW, the devastating landslide in Nepal, and the heartbreaking Lindsey Clancy trial.

I was also mourning the loss of our coveted one-on-one time together, which had been harder to come by over the summer and was sure to be non-existent for the coming week.

The Sound That Gave Me Away

And, in that moment a sound escaped my lips—a yearning that spoke of unrest—of something wrong.  Rudra noticed.

He was quiet for a bit, then turned to me and said, “Do you remember the book “Still Life With Woodpecker” by Tom Robbins. 

“Yes, vaguely” I replied. I loved Tom Robbins’ books, though I was terrible at remembering the details, I always remembered the way they made me felt: curious about life, playful, happy.

The Yum Factor

“The thing is when you made that sound,” he went on, we lost our focus on the “Yum” factor.

“The Yum factor?” I asked. “What’s that?”

Rudra describes a scene from the book where the main character, Bernard (aka The Woodpecker) leans into a woman, Princess Leigh-Cheri, (who would later become his beloved). She is on her way to an environmental activism conference, trying to do a mantra-style meditation with an audio guide, when he whispers “Yum,” disrupting her concentration. She is affronted and snaps at him.

He cheerfully explains his philosophy of life, saying “There are only two mantras, yum and yuck;  mine is yum.”

“Yuuuuuummmmmm,” Bernard says playfully, mocking the idea of solemn meditation.

I was struck by the simplicity and brilliance of the yum/yuck philosophy--the way it could shift my attention, subtly, back to the radical joy present right now.

For Bernard, and now me, “Yum” represents an attitude of radical acceptance, joy, curiosity, and embracing life’s experiences. “Yuck” stands in for cynicism, rejection, judgment, and closing oneself off from the world. In a world where wildfires, landslides, and heartbreak abound, choosing joy is a revolutionary act.

Mmmmm…yum

Later, when Rudra and I were talking, he commented I think I would amend it to be an “Mmmmmmm…yum.”

I tried it and immediately noticed when I made the Mmmmm sound my chest vibrated warmly, the corners of my lips upturned and the yum came easily.

So, as we pulled back on the road toward  Return to Intimacy, I bring  the Mmmmm…Yum philosophy with me into the eight days of silence ahead—a bemused attitude of radical joy. An inside job, whether the world outside is on fire or not.  

Upcoming Events

Write by the Sea returns Monday, September 10 — same weekly hybrid rhythm, same open door. (It’s invitation-only, but ask — there may be room.) 

Write by Red Rock is back too, resuming its first-Wednesday-of-the-month gathering at the Blue Diamond branch of Clark County Library, starting in October.

And I’m heading back to Vegas to dig into something new: partnering with Floop to bring Write Now Mind’s peer feedback workshop online. More soon. 

Good News 

Two guided meditations are now live on Insight Timer — a small, quiet kind of yum.

And I’m hoping to begin work on an audiobook version of Naked in the Now — stay tuned.

Smiles,

​https://marijkemccandless.com

​Kirkus Reviews endorses Naked in the Now!​

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